I'll be your wings
by ElloDoctor
Summary: "She wasn't perfect but she was someone who was good and human enough to save him, save him from himself and from the evil that he knew lurked just beneath the surface." AU: Dark!Jace/Fallen Angel!Jace


God created the Angels to love and to serve him and to be loyal to none but him. But when these children of Heaven saw the beautiful daughters of man they coveted them and it was for them that they cut themselves off from God and chose to live among mortals, giving in to their desires and in turn fathering half human monsters that attempted to destroy God's earth and all his children. The angels were punished and many, to escape the torture that awaited them in heaven, fell to earth and were separated from their wings, leaving them stranded and unable to feel even the most feather-light touch; all for their sin.

Early morning sunlight fell from the half closed blinds, illuminating parts of the mostly dark classroom. He trailed his hands across a desk, silently moving past it, his eyes taking in every inch of room as he wandered around aimlessly. It was like every other classroom in the school, 16 desks all aligned perfectly, with the teacher's table at the front, meticulously neat. The class showed no signs of life; it was only seven in the morning after all, too early for any of the students, all of whom were probably still half asleep while in the process of getting ready.

He smiled, already looking forward to when the students would begin to gradually trickle through the school gates, the humanity practically oozing out of them, wafting through the air. They had the joy of being alive, of being able to feel, of having identity. Sometimes he would get close, dangerously close to touching one of them, so close he could almost taste it, almost experience the feeling of being alive himself. He could only imagine what it would be like to touch someone and to actually _feel _it, to experience skin on skin. He examined his hands in the sliver of light that fell on the desk in front of him with detachment; he tried to imagine what his skin would look like in contrast to another person's, tried to conjure up images of hands intertwining and pale skin against his own.

_Phttttttft. _The sound of the janitor turning on the steam vacuum cleaner broke through his reverie of sorts and it was with regret that he exited the classroom, leaving no evidence of his being there.

* * *

"You really think he'll ask me out?" Clary Fray took a sip of her banana smoothie as she eyed her friend warily.

"Of course he will, he is _so _in love with you," Isabelle was looking at her phone as she said this, fixing her hair using the reflective surface of the screen as a mirror.

"Isabelle, I'm serious here!" Clary sighed in exasperation at the other girl.

"So am I; you're amazing and beautiful so I wouldn't worry,"

"I can't help it!"

"You're not usually this freaked out at this time of the morning," Isabelle observed, grinning as she tossed her straight black hair behind her shoulder.

"Yeah well I've never been asked out before; this is a big deal!" Clary waved her arms around for emphasis.

"God, you're so dramatic," Isabelle said grinning impishly. "How on earth does he put up with you?"

"Ha, ha, you're so funny," Clary deadpanned then leaned in and whispered conspiratorially. "I reckon you're just jealous because Simon is so sweet."

"Not likely! Come on, we have to get to school."

Clary frowned at her watch. "Oh so we do, I didn't realise what the time was."

"I guess I can forgive you for being so distracted," Isabelle winked.

"Thanks so much," Clary's tone was acerbic and then continued in a softer tone. "I still can't believe someone is actually interested in me; no one ever notices me."

* * *

He was standing on the roof when she arrived, observing the steady stream of students pouring through the gates, completely unaware that they were being watched. Each of them was as mundane as the last; except for her. She was talking to another girl, their footsteps matching as they entered the school. She looked nervous and was coiling her long, red hair around her hand; the gesture made her look fragile and vulnerable, which in a way she was. He shivered as he watched her almost trip on her own feet; almost falling on to the hard pavement, she laughed, oblivious to the danger she was putting herself in. She wasn't safe here, she needed to be loved and protected.

_And what makes you think that you're the one to protect her? You are not a guardian, you will hurt her._

He shook his head, trying hard not to listen to the little voice in the back of his head. He had spent so many years on earth and still he was plagued by the words of God, foolish murmurs that questioned his every move. He didn't pay any attention to it; he had decided long ago that he would live this life or rather, this existence, on his own terms, even if it destroyed him. In fact it nearly did, he had spent lifetimes roaming the earth, preying on the innocent, believing that was all he would ever be able to do. But instead he had found something he never thought he would find; someone that he could protect and love. She wasn't perfect; he saw the flashes of mean jealousy that sometimes passed over her when she was in the presence of her best friend and he had seen the way she looked upon the girls in her year with disdain. She wasn't perfect but she was someone who was good and human enough to save him, save him from himself and from the evil that he knew lurked just beneath the surface.

* * *

"Clary?" Clary's heart thumped unevenly at the sound of Simon's voice. This was really happening.

"Yeah?" She turned around and smiled up at him, marvelling slightly at how brown his eyes were.

"Hey." His voice was clear as glass and he was smiling back at her.

Clary sucked in a breath, feeling her stomach clench and unclench and her palms grow sweaty. She opened her mouth to speak when-

"I'll leave you guys alone…" Isabelle coughed noisily and after winking obviously at Clary, walked slowly away, moving her hips seductively like she always did. Clary turned to face Simon and smiled apologetically, mentally cursing herself for having such an obvious best friend.

"Sorry about her," she said and Simon grinned at her.

"It's okay, I'm used to her." He poked his tongue out and Clary pressed her lips together and shook with silent giggles.

"Really?"

"You're not?" Simon teased, looking towards where Isabelle was and back to where Clary was.

Clary thought of all the times Isabelle had upstaged her with her craziness and stereotypical good looks and replied:

"I don't think that anyone truly gets used to her, she's one of a kind…" Her tone turned slightly mean at the end but Simon didn't appear to notice.

"I know what you mean, she's very…." Simon appeared to be searching for the right word. "...Intense."

That's one way of putting it, Clary thought bitterly remembering the time Isabelle managed to completely monopolise Simon's attention for a whole hour while Clary just sat there.

Clary became angry again for a second, wishing she was as interesting as Isabelle but she stopped herself. Isabelle didn't mean to do that and she was her best friend and Clary loved her. Besides, Simon wanted _her, _not Isabelle.

"You got that right…" Clary smiled at him and was about to change the subject when the clanging of the school bell interrupted her. Heart sinking, she looked towards the school buildings where she could see dozens of students making their way through the doors and into the school. Realising that she too would have to do that, she looked back to Simon, cursing her bad luck.

"So I'll see you around then?" Clary hoped he didn't notice the disappointment in her voice.

"Of course!" Simon grinned at her before taking a deep breath. "Are you busy after school Clary?"

"No, I'm not." Clary felt her heart rate quicken in anticipation. She was surprisingly nervous and she had never felt this ill at ease with Simon.

"Oh. Um, good because I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie or something…" Simon sounded nervous, Clary took this as a good sign and relaxed slightly.

"You mean….like a date?"

"Yeah."

Clary sucked in a breath.

"A movie would be great!" She grinned at Simon and the tension that had been building slowly between them vanished. Simon grinned back at her, his eyes sparkling slightly.

"So meet me here after school then?" Simon asked.

"Sounds good," Clary nodded and then realised she had to get to class. "I have to go, see you then!"

"Bye," Clary gave him one more smile before she walked towards Isabelle who was waiting several metres away.

"Well?" Isabelle asked impatiently, apparently searching Clary's face for clues. Clary grinned at Isabelle and gave her thumbs up, her head completely void of insecurities and negative thoughts as she walked into school.

* * *

There were no words to describe the heartbreaking anguish he felt. Watching her smile and laugh with that human boy had made him feel emotions he hadn't felt for decades. For so long he had been a mirror, reflecting the humanity that he surrounded himself but never had he experienced such emotion for himself and it made him feel _alive _for the first time.

Moving lithely to the edge of the roof, he gazed down at sprawling mass of students. Making a rash decision he moved to the other side of the building that overlooked the oval, the patchy green grass currently devoid of human life.

He jumped.

Air rushed past him and for a split second it felt as if his wings had never been removed, that instead of the garish scars on his shoulder blades, he had the feathery and almost transparent wings that he had once had. He was brought back to reality by the sound of his feet hitting the ground as he landed gracefully.

Trying to forget what it felt like to be airborne, he began to walk towards the courtyard where he could hear the dozens of students continue to talk, all completely unaware of how mundane their lives were. As he got closer he could hear snatches of various conversations and he realised that this was the first time he had dared to venture among humans for many years. A strange feeling of nostalgia filled him as he listened idly while walking slowly through the crowd, still unnoticed.

"…we were supposed to go there last year…"

"…he promised me but he never called back, how messed up is…"

"…think this is going to make things better? What were…"

Listening to these small-minded human beings, he couldn't believe how self-centred they were, so focused solely on their own problems that they failed to see how tiny and insignificant their lives were compared to everyone else. He supposed he shouldn't be so surprised; this small school was like every other institution on this planet, with the same people and the same attitudes towards living. It wasn't fair that he walked on this earth as merely an observer when they wasted life, took it for granted and threw away every opportunity and blessing given to them.

As he neared the spot where she stood he let himself blend in with the scrub surrounding the area to remain unnoticed, but still able to see the spot where she stood, partially obscured by the taller boy she was talking to. From where he was he could easily hear what they were saying. Her words drifted towards him, her voice soft and perfect.

"Sorry about her." She was obviously talking about her attention seeking friend that he had seen with her on many occasions.

"It's okay, I'm used to her." He breathed in deeply, hearing the voice of the boy she was standing with. This human-boy was too intimate with her; he spoke as if he knew her.

"Really?"

"You're not used to her?" The boy spoke in light tones.

He seethed in anger. If this human really knew Clary he would know that she was in an almost constant state of jealousy when her friend was concerned, it was obvious to anyone who cared enough to look closely.

She didn't say anything for a moment.

"I don't think that anyone truly gets used to her, she's one of a kind…" He heard the mean edge to her voice but it was so subtle that he suspected that the boy wouldn't pick up on it. He was right.

"I know what you mean, she's very...Intense."

"You got that right…" She sounded bitter and his heart soared, she obviously also saw how little the human boy knew about her. He barely heard the clanging of the school bell, the worry that had been beginning to creep into his thoughts vanished and had been replaced with relief.

"So I'll see you around then?" He let her voice wash over him, the clarity of it almost making him dizzy. He had never been this close to her; he felt an almost gravitational pull to be near her. He was so close, he could move two steps and he would be visible and she would be able to look at him as he'd looked at her. But to do that would destroy everything he worked so hard for because there would be no turning back from that moment; they would both be changed irrevocably and not necessarily for the better.

"Oh. Um, good because I was wondering if you wanted to go see a movie or something…" His reverie was broken by the pitiful human boy's voice and he felt his breathing quicken. What was this boy thinking? She held no attraction to him he was sure.

"You mean….like a date?"

"Yeah."

He sucked in a breath as he listened to them, surely she would say no, there was no way she could feel anything for this mundane boy. Doubt began to slowly creep into his mind like raindrops on glass and if had been human, he was sure his heart would have been racing.

"A movie would be great!" The transparent happiness in her voice destroyed him. He felt as if he had turned to glass and with one sentence she had shattered him, broken him down leaving nothing but the empty shell of someone who had never been human to begin with.

He barely listened to the remainder of their conversation, too consumed by the knowledge that the one constant in his tortured existence was being taken away. As he watched her turn away from the boy, without thinking he stepped out from his hiding place and onto the pavement, in clear view of anyone watching. He clenched his fists as Clary began to walk towards him, too close for him to go back into hiding. From here he could see the light freckles that were scattered on her nose and arms and the softness of her green eyes. The complete vulnerability that emanated from her terrified him, anything or anyone could break her, especially him. He needed to turn and walk away; he couldn't bear to look have her look at his face, the face of a monster. He took one last look at her and what he saw stopped him completely.

She was walking towards him, a smile on her face and her eyes sparkling. That smile pierced at his heart and he let himself dissolve in that smile and wallow in the joy of her finally noticing him. anticipation curled up in his stomach as she continued to walk towards him, still smiling. He opened his mouth, not quite aware of what he was going to say, just knowing that he had to say something, _anything_.

Her eyes slid past him and she walked past him towards her friend, not even sparing him a second glance.

_Agony. _

* * *

Clary stood by the gate, her stomach full of joyful anticipation. She had spent most of the day in a happy daze, not even getting annoyed when Isabelle had asked to copy her maths homework. Clary had replayed her conversation with Simon over and over in her head, each time feeling more and more impatient for the day to end. She had a date with one of the nicest, cutest and funniest boys in the school; she couldn't imagine how life could get any better. She felt her phone buzz and she pulled out her phone warily, hoping that it wasn't Simon cancelling.

_Sorry, my class ran late. Meet me in the science corridor? –S _

Relieved, she began to walk, texting as she made her way back towards the school building.

_Sure, I'll be there in 2. - C_

There were still a fair number of students milling in the courtyard but when Clary went inside the school, the corridors were empty, the only sound being the quiet hum of the air conditioner. Her footsteps echoed through the emptiness and as she turned into the science corridor it was so quiet she could hear the sound of her own quiet breathing.

She poked her head into each of the classrooms, surprised to find that Simon was nowhere to be seen. Frowning a little, she took out her phone again.

_Where are you? –C_

She went into the nearest class room and sat on one of the tables. She tapped her fingers against the table idly and gazed around the classroom, wondering if maybe she should go to Simon's locker instead. After a few minutes she decided that there was no point waiting here for Simon to text her and she slid of the table. Looking towards the door, she started in surprise. There was a tall boy leaning on the doorway, with his arms crossed. He looked about the same age as her and his hair was gold, like the sun.

"Oh I'm sorry if I'm in your way, was just waiting for someone," Clary said, stumbling over the words a little.

"No that's fine." His voice was soft and Clary almost had to move closer to hear it. "You're not in my way."

"Oh, good." She smiled at him, walking towards the door. "Do you go here? I've never seen you before…"

Clary wasn't usually this talkative with strangers but something about this boy was so entrancing and engaging. As she moved closer, she could see his eyes were a golden like his hair and for a few seconds she found herself staring deep into them, unable to look away.

Finally tearing herself away from his eyes, she saw the boy smirk. She wasn't usually this obvious and she blushed deeply, feeling awkward.

"Yeah I go here," he said and Clary felt herself relax at the sight of his smile, not knowing why. "I'm Jace."

* * *

"I'm Jace."

It was the first time in years he had told anyone his name.

"I'm Clary." She was still staring at him and he knew she probably didn't even realise it. The compulsion he used was subtle and it affected all humans, it drew them to him, like moths to a flame.

"It's nice to meet you Clary." Her name spilled from his lips like a caress.

"It's nice to meet you too." His heart leapt of the sincerity at her tone and the sight of her standing less than two feet away from him almost destroyed him. They were close enough that he felt her humanity, rolling off her like waves.

He smiled at her, not needing words to tell her what he's been yearning to tell her for months.

_I love you. I need you. I see who you are and you need me too._

She opened her mouth, her eyes were still dazed from the compulsion and she was obviously about to say something and he smiled reassuringly at her, trying to decipher the depths of her eyes.

But suddenly, it was like a switch has been turned on and she blinked twice.

"Oh god, I'm sorry." She sounded clearer than before. "I have to go meet someone. It was nice to meet you."

Jace felt himself tense all over, the pleasantness was gone from her tone and instead she just sounded politely distant and anxious to go find the boy.

The boy that she would never see again.

The boy's phone was heavy in the pocket of his jeans; it had been so easy to lure him into the small cleaning cupboard and easier still to get rid of him. He had barely put up a fight, making Jace more disgusted at how little he deserved Clary.

He tried to say something to her but already she was turning away.

"Wait!" The word slipped out before he could stop himself and he reached for her wrist. As his hand encased it, he realised with aching disappointment that it was the first time he had ever touched her and yet he couldn't feel a thing. It was like every other time he had touched something, like trying to feel through a pane of glass.

She gasped, presumably shocked at the coldness of his hand and the sound transfixed him. She twisted back to look at him and still he couldn't say anything, his eyes on where they were connected, his skin on hers.

"I really have to go," she insisted, trying to tug away. He still didn't say anything, his mind had gone into a frenzy. She didn't know she wanted him, she didn't know how much she needed him and it was tearing him apart.

"Let go of me!" She said, sounding panicked. She began to wrench her wrist from his grip and Jace snapped back to reality. He tightened his grip around her fragile wrist, internally battling with himself.

_Let her go. Let her go. Let her go. _

"Ouch!" Her cry of pain cut through his haze of anger and hurt.

"Shhh," he hissed, digging his nails into her wrist. "You have to be quiet."

Her eyes were wide with a mix of terror and confusion and she lunged for him, raising her other hand above her head. He grabbed her other wrist before she could come into contact with him.

"Stop," he growled, anger building inside him. "I'm not going to hurt you."

For a split second he thought she believed him and he almost exhaled in relief. He knew she would understand, there was no one else for her.

"Simon!" Her piercing cry broke through the momentary bout of possibility.

The sound of her calling out for the frail, human boy pushed him over the edge. The realisation of why she would rely on Simon in her moment of need flooded him and he felt darkness settle over him. He had loved and now he had lost. This girl who he had thought was so perfectly imperfect had turned out to be just like the rest of her pathetic species. He had been wrong, he had always thought that he would be the one to break her but he had never considered that she would break him. Never again would he make that mistake.

_Never again._

He turned her around abruptly and, wrapping one arm around her arms and torso, he placed his hand over her mouth.

She thrashed in his embrace but he held on tightly, knowing that his strength was no match for hers.

"You did this," he murmured in her ear. Her muffled cries were almost silent and with each sob he felt himself break a little more. Her whole body shook and he could hear her heart beating frantically. He pressed his lips to her temple.

"Why did you have to do this?" He asked brokenly, his composure beginning to slip. "Why?"

She gazed up at him, her eyes streaming with tears and he felt himself come to a decision. He held her tighter for a minute, her breaths coming in short gasps against his hand and he relished the feeling of being close to her. She was still crying, her body sagging against him, no longer trying to call out.

He closed his eyes and with hands trembling, removed his arm from her waist. He took one last shaky breath and without looking he broke her neck. He fell to the floor, clutching at her limp body.

"I forgive you," he whispered. "I forgive you."


End file.
